So Heartbreaking.... / Judi Hale (on POS w/Teri ) Oh, Teri....Tears are falling in my lap while looking at your beautiful son, who looks so huggable and loveable! I almost felt like a spy while reading what you wrote on his rebirth day. It seems we all have a heart transplant, they are now permenantly on our sleeve... I also had many "bawling" times when standing in front of the Pieta and long before my Andy died. I am Catholic and did stations of the cross during Lent every Friday every year. I would start crying as I would get to the crucifixtion and when Jesus was placed in His Mother's arms, I would start asking, "Mary, how is that possible? I couldn't handle it, how did you?" And it was always Andy that was on my mind and in my heart because he was my troubled and in trouble son. I read your letter in POS today and how you are travelling down the grief process road....Your words will be an inspiration to me and to others. I hope we can give you comfort as well. I loved what you said about Eric graduating from Earth School...what a beautiful image that invokes. I would love to hear more about why you and Eric were in Kansas. We lived there for a few years and my youngest is still there. The last time I got to see Andy alive was in Kansas at his younger brother's wedding and then his funeral Mass was in the same church. I am going back on the 14th and part of me is so excited as the baby is due any day and another part of me is so afraid as there are things and pictures I have yet to deal with.... Thank you for sharing your special son and your love for him...Peace and blessings, Andy's Mom, Judi 3/14/73 - 5/24/04
Lizards/ Mom Hi Baby. I put the story about Lizard Love on your site because I remembered how much fun we had in Hawaii that night we ate at the restaurant that had it's own fish hatchery. Remember? You were 4, I think. We had such fun that night because of all the cute little lizards (gecos) that kept creeping up the walls, under the table, and on the sidewalk. We never did catch one. They're even faster moving than ferrets! Remember the mongoose we saw? And the dolphins? That was the best vacation. I'll never forget all the wrist bands you collected from riding the water slides every day. And when you were walking with dad at the ocean edge and he spotted a snorkel and mask floating by, so he let go of your hand just long enough to grab the mask and you got hammered by a wave. It was so funny. You did the exact same thing in California and got your clothes all wet. You were so irritated by having to wear the wet clothes, but we were miles from our hotel and wanted to have dinner first. So I appeased you by fashioning a sarong (long skirt) out of a towel and you dug it. You were the cutest skirted kid in the restaurant, and you were happy and dry! I miss our adventures together. But we both have to collect some new ones so that when we're together again, we can tell each other all about them, OK? All my love, Mom
The Strong One / Becky Topliff (aunt)
I remember when Eric was two years old. His parents were on vacation and Grandma Grove and I were dividing the time with Eric and were relaying him across Kansas. Grandma Grove drove with Eric to Junction City where I picked him up and kept him. Eric and I were playing one night. He decided he wanted a pear. I did not have a pear in the house, but was trying to interest him in an orange or apple. He declined my offer and still informed me he wanted a PEAR and he was not giving up. So... at 9:00 at night this strong willed two year old and his aunt where going to the grocery store to get his pear! Eric: you were a strong willed child, that was the great thing I remember. You were definitely goal oriented when you had your mind set, and you didn't give up until you got it accomplished. That is a trait I was very proud of you for and admired about you, smiling to myself when I saw you display it. Keep it alive, as I know you will, you rebel angel you!! I love you, Aunt Becky
Eric was an amazing person / Sarah Bolliger (Class mate/Friend )
I remember that I was really never that close with Eric...but I got to know him through my close friends. There were times he would do something that was to silly it scared me but that is what made Kric himself...always trying never giving up and never caring what others though about him...sometimes I wish I had the strength he had...but that was Erics and I want him to be remembered for that. He was an amazing person, smart, funny, sweet, and a great friend. I will always remember the time I went to Six Flags with him for a friends birthday party and he was on the Tower of Doom and he was so scared that was the first time I think I have ever seen him scared. He was an amazing person and I will never forget him...but I am always here...These are the times that are really tough and we can all grieve together. Terri...I know you don't know me but I just want you to know I am so very sorry for your loss and I loved Eric he was an amazing person...and I hope we can talk one day. Love Always, Sarah
Eric and i always had fun there was never a dull moment between us. Every thing we did was always an adventure. One day after school there was snow on the ground and we had a little plastic snowbord , we had build a jump and a big one so we started to build a jumpand we started to build this jump bigger and bigger finly we had it so big that we started to get afriad to go off it with this little flimzy snowbord but we were determind. To land it was somthing i coudnt do it if my life depended on it but that crazzy eric was so determind. then he findly landed it, kind of ,he hit the ground and did a face plant and when he got up he left his face prin in the snow we were laghing so hard.and he still would not give up . It was so much fun. That is a day ill never forget and ill never forget my best friend.
The Good Times / Chase Topliff (Cousin) Eric was a very unique young man. I think that is why I loved him so much. He was, and always will be, my favorite cousin. I remember all the good times we had. I think one of our favorite things we did when we were growing up, was making our annual trip to Dave and Buster's...haha. I always enjoyed being around him. One of my favorite memories I have of Eric, was when him and I were really young and our whole family went on camping trip. Anyways, Grandpa, Eric, and myself went on a hike. Grandpa had a huge walking stick that he was using and of course both Eric and I had to have one two. In the picture we have, it is Grandpa with his big walking stick, then me with my medium sized walking stick, and then little Eric with his small walking stick that couldn't have been more than a foot long. Our Grandpa has this picture hanging up at his house, and everytime I go there, I always look at that picture. A Grandfather and his only two grandsons. One day, Eric, Grandpa and I will be up there with you, and we will go on another hike...walking sticks and all.
Eric, I miss you so much.
--Cousin Chase
Hi Baby / Teri Grove (Mammy Pajamy ) Adam Sandler movies have been playing all week. Did you arrange that so I would laugh, instead of cry? Every time I think of how I found you on that awful day that went so wrong, I immediately replace that image with the one of you imitating Mr. Bean going down the stairs--it always makes me smile. Keep sending me your smiles and laughter, and I'll try my best to reciprocate. All my love, Mom
Eric's Passing a tragedy---- / Richard Groft (Grandfather) Eric was one of only two grandsons. I am greatly saddened at his death=have a hard time believing it a year later. I am so sorry for Teri, his Mom. Life will go on, but it is hard!!
Birth of an Angel / Teri (Mom) December 5, 2005
Dearest Eric:
It’s your one-year anniversary as an angel my darling Eric. I awoke just in time to remember 14 years ago when you were born, at 4:50 a.m. Remember? The umbilical cord was wrapped very tightly around your neck. Was that the source of your struggles here on Earth? Lack of oxygen. Just the way you died. Lack of oxygen.
You are such a mystery to us Eric. Your life was so filled with everything. Love, happiness, sadness, anger, joy, just everything. I miss having you around. I miss being a mom, although I don’t think I was very good at it. In the conventional way. But I do think I was pretty good at loving you. I still do, you know. Love you. With all my heart and soul. And I spend most of my days trying to understand why. Why you were given to me, and then why you were taken away? God did make us for each other—perfectly suited to one another. I don’t understand it, but I trust God’s will. God’s will, not mine.
You have made a big difference in a lot of people’s lives, Eric. I don’t even know the extent of your touch, but I’ve personally felt and seen the impact your life and death has had on my friends. I haven’t seen much of your friends, Eric. Kayla and Corbin are coming over to my new apartment tonight. They are struggling with your death, and their mom thinks they need to see me, and talk to me, and be with me. I hope I can be strong for them. Or maybe that’s not required. Maybe we can just bawl about not having you with us. I don’t know.
One thing I know for sure, Eric. You are still in our lives. Only now, you don’t have the burden of feeling bad. I believe all your goodness and grace has been harnessed to help us. To guide us. To give us confidence, joy and hope for the future. That’s a lot, Eric. Without hope, we have nothing. I admit there are days when my hope is deeply buried underneath my pain. But you always dig it out, don’t you? I thank you for that. And for sending me angels who light my path. This life here on Earth is but a blink of an eye, and when it’s over, we’ll be together forever. That gives me such comfort. To know that I’ll see you again. Hold you. Smell your head. And hear you say “I love you, Mom.”
Until that day, please continue your heavenly mission, Eric. Don’t worry about me. You’ve given me the strength and courage to continue my Earthly mission….and I am open and willing and able to carry on without you. Because you’ve shown me that it is possible.
Fourteen years ago, I gave birth to an angel. That makes me pretty special, huh Eric? Use your new wings to fly as far as you’re able, son. Use your wings to realize all your glorious potential. And I will do the same.
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